Sunday, November 29, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 10:51 AM
It's nice to love and love loves me back.
I wish i could just translate the right amount and axact words of the way i genuinely feel right now,i think you'd be soo jealous.okay la maybe not.we all have and live awesome lives don't we. =D soo many happiest,fun and exciting things that i've been living with now.i cannot even,not smile while typing and thinking about them all.like dinner and dance.club goers wannabes tak jadi.loooong leave.unplanned weekend gateway that went super smooth.first chinese wedding.first timbre.long walks with friends.intense gamer tak jadi.i love my november.and love!
Now happiness?checked!health?Oh my god can.you'd think i'm fit.you'd think i'm not fat.you'd think i'm not too thin.you'd might even think i'm perfect(LOL).joking hor.so basically,my point here is that i'm NOT!i am so not fit and healthy at all.i've got the medical report to prove it?i know it's probably not as serious as i may think it is.but i dowan to think it's not important as well,you know?it's my health,my life for gods sake.with the so called active life i claim to live..now the report just confirmed that i've been doing something soooo wrong.LOL.and i've gained weight!but maybe that's cause of constipation.the sheet in me just refuse to get out.urgghhh.but i'm well.i'm too happy to let some sheet get me down.
I'm yet to upload pictures of me and girlfriend.with a video that clearly shows my inner witch.heh~ and even though bintan trip is cancelled.i'm absolutely sure someone's gonna create one mini holiday for me!i'm just counting the days now.four more days to go!so it's sunday and i'm home alone.prolly going jogging in the evening.my last before the big marathon?and that's if the weather permits.cause it seems like it's gonna pour anytime soon here.don't we just loathe the weather these days.ah well.next sunday better not rain.oh i got my race pack yesterday.disappointed but i'm over it.i'm sure the run would be worthwhile.heee~
OH.and someone is making me FAT.and happy.now smile for me,will you?
=D
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 4:58 AM
A miracle that you can still make me smile.
No,not you dummy.heh.this is sweet.i'm hoping this weekend to be fabulous.with girlfriend around,it'd be major!hahakz.i don't know why but i just can't concentrate since just now.i barely soaked anything in since i started 'revising'.okay stop whining.i will start tomorrow,which is later,once i wake up.for now,i'm gonna just smile to myself.in case you're wondering why i'm still awake,i had coffee and redbull.not a good mix but heck lah.and i guess i have a reason why i wanted to vent my new found happiness.to actually be happy.regardless of whatevers.i love my new found attitude too.
It's safe to say that I can genuinely smile for me.oh yes,i believe in miracles.i'm making the best of me.of it all.
:)
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 1:14 AM
I'm like that footprints in your sand.
November is here.it shall be exciting and amazing.only i can make sure of it.not forgetting challenging.please,i'm not trying to be poetic.hahaha.i didn't do well for my assignments this semester.not even near good.am i going to give up,feel bad about myself,drown in self pity,weep in silence at night?i'm going to rise above from all these i tell you.i don't know how but i want to.i'm determined.if i can't press rewind,i'm going to make sure i press play.okay,that i just made it up.LOL.so i've been eating way too many smores at night,like now.they are my substitute for dinners.that screams unhealthy.but fun,no?yummy!
Tomorrow is judgement day at work.in a matter of hours time i guess.and you think i care?i should right?i want to care.i say that only because it's the right thing to say.nyeah!
You know,it doesn't matter how deep..they seem to easily disappear.do you even get that?i just wish i knew what axactly happened.and i wish this tummy can disappear just the same.ha ha.thanks to smores and oreos.grrrr.and you know,on a real serious note.i'm beginning to remember to whom i should ask for forgiveness now.maybe it's time to find my way back to HIM.how i've always forget the reason why i'm truly here living on earth.i've sinned enough haven't i.i want to find my way.i don't know how.i just want to find my way back.oh Allah,please guide me.
And please fitri,subuh is before 6.47am.not at 7am!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 12:21 AM
In my heart,you are.
This is starting to be an addiction.i keep going back.i keep assuming.thoughts,these sickening precious thoughts.dang,i'm contradicting.okay,i just had my dinner and watched the secret.wow shereen.thank you thank you thank you.my spirits were lifted.even for a moment,it was lifted.i guess we all already knew the secret.we just give up most of the times.it's all very positive.very magical.very inspiring.but i just have one question though.what if what i want is what i need.and that,doesn't want me anymore.it's complicated.ya'll should watch it.i teared up.and i can't even explain myself.i suck at words.no!i need to improve on the words that i say.i want to live life,you know?i want to wake up,not wanting and hoping.i want to wake up,and feel alive again.
Crap,look at the time.i better sleep.i've got lives to change tomorrow.i'm sleeping with my niece today.i definitely cannot sob tonight.fabulous!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 11:57 PM
New sweet chapters in your life.
House has been very quiet lately.for the last few weeks to be almost axact.i'm enjoying it.i've got the door locked and a queen bed all to myself.my meals are often in the room in front of the weird tv.only because i don't fancy any shows at any time i have it switched on.aunt will check once or twice.prolly to see whether i'm still alive.lol.hmmm,doctor phil said,i must be excited about my life.to not give up.nyehh.full of crap!and where are you now again?you must have reached second base by now,no?third base already?well,with all due respect,goodluck.and i mean it.god knows,i know.
So schools out and i'm soo not excited,you know.it's gonna be time for brutal mugging then stress at work,but good stress,did i mention?the juggling part is always tough but have faith.i should be able to pull through.i've got no choice but to actually.i honestly should wake up my own idea.not forgetting having to have had two zeros!missing classes and all.aiyah..what will be shall be.URGGH.so pissed with myself.stop lying to yourself already!oh yeah..it's the 25th today.WOW.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 9:10 PM
Especially hurts when it heals.
I can't seem to remember how well i seem to be able to do it two times before.i can stare at a screen and my mind not here at all.i can run a million miles away but heart still stuck in nowhere.i am pathetic.i reported sick today.stupid stomach and heart.but most of all heart.good thing today,i had proper meals.like real meals that i eat entirely on my own.i want to keep this up.
My brother is rushing me off the computer.so what do i do now.i keep missing you.
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 2:44 AM
242 days of sweet dreams.
I slept through my deadline date again.=( told you i was as good as dead.okay,i take that back.morale is far king low.i'm exhausted of doing everything else.i want my 242 days back.yes,those two four two...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
feet-tree wasted her time here at @ 12:24 AM
Irreplaceable.
I know how fragile life is.we all know that.but most of us go about our days as if we might live another day,most of the times.it pains me to think that i got hurt.that i think i'm the victim.that it is entirely my fault.after today,knowing a loss that can never be replaced,and i mean never...now that's just...
I don't have the right words or any words for that matter.i cannot imagine that great of a loss.i may have loss a big part of me.but knowing that he's still alive,possibly happy with friends,family and a significant other.that is nothing compared to a live that is no longer here on earth anymore,literally.
I am sad.that is not too hard to figure me out.but my sadness today,is a wee bit different.i can't explain it.and i know i shouldnt even try to explain.i guess this is like old times.where absolutely everything are obviously left unsaid.for the better?now that,you would agree.
My goodness.i've been doing psychology talk to myself a lot lately that i think i'm going crazy.you know,i was so sure i wanted to take up a 2b licence.but i'm back to square one.i just wonder.and i ponder.what would you say to me?prolly whatever.yea fitri,whatever.go take your drugs and go sleep can.
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feet-tree
firi aini m. tahir
weighs 70 kg
stands at 187cm
loves school when she's at work
loves work when she's in school
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